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EmailKeeping it real in YA (repost from defunct blog)
Posted Oct 28 2016, 9:09 am
So back in, I think it was 2013, I wrote a post after receiving a scathing email from a mother. The blog is now defunct and I still feel passionately about the post. After getting yet another email from someone, the complaint similar, I wanted to put it up here. Partially because I’m really trying to blog more often, but also I truly believe in keeping YA characters as REAL as possible. Ya know, excluding the whole paranormal side of my books đ
Previously posted on YA Fusion
Let me start by saying I donât have kidsânot the two-legged kind, anywayâso Iâm by no means an expert on the subject of teenagers. I am, however, realistic. I have eyes and ears. I pay attention. Iâm also not that far removed from my youth that I live in a rose-colored fantasy.
I wasnât what youâd consider a wild child in my teen years, but I wasnât an angel either. Judge if you must, but I snuck out and got in fights. I lied. Iâget ready for itâdrank alcohol.Â
The majority of YA authors gloss over certain aspects of the normal teenage existence, and for some characters and stories, it works. For my books, that kind of hazy, filmy glimpse of the world wouldnât fly. My characters would never tolerate anything less than the whole, gritty picture. I know thereâs a big debate on whether sex should be included in young adult novels, and personally, I find the entire issue ridiculous.Â
As a YA author, I want to connect with teenagers in a real way. I feel this includes respecting them enough to avoid fading to black when it comes to real issues. Guess what? Sex is a real issue for teens. We may not like it, but the truth is, sweeping it under the rug is irresponsible.
About a month after Touch came out, I received an email from a family friend. The entire letter was an enraged tirade berating me for being so careless. Why? Because close to the end of my book, thereâs a sex scene. Yes. A real honest-to-God sex scene.
Itâs okay. You can gasp now.
The scene isnât graphic or remotely pornographic by any definition, nor does it go on for pages and pages. It doesnât scream of depravity, promote goat sex, or subliminally suggest going out and getting down and dirty with every Edward, Jacob, or Jace, but apparently the subject matter is offensive to some. This woman closed her email stating I should be ashamed of myself, and that her daughter would never be allowed to read or watch anything containing sex. The same daughterâfourteen years old as of a week ago, by the wayârecently gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Yeah.Â
Scenarios like this are why I find the debate ridiculous. This woman tried to shelter her daughter, and what good did it do? The girl still ended up pregnant at fourteen. What are we trying to shield our children from? Reality? Weâre turning sex into a dirty little secret.Â
There are exceptions to the ruleâthere always areâbut if you think teenagers never have sex, then I want whateverâs in your water. The truth is, they do have sex. In my opinionâand remember, thatâs all this post isâI feel shielding teens from reality harms, rather than protects. Weâre making it seem like having sex is something they need to hide, and by feeling that way, they wonât come to us for advice. And if they donât come to us for advice, we canât guide them. Theyâre going to make their own mistakesâand thatâs a good thing. Growing up is all about making bad choices and learning from them.Â
Iâm not an advocate for gratuitous violence, sex, and drugs in books, but I do advocate reality. If it fits the character and isnât thrown in simply for shock value, then I see nothing wrong with these âtaboosâ. The reality is, theyâre a part of life.Â
Equally disturbing as the handful of emails Iâve received about that one sex scene, are the ones Iâve gotten over simply the mention of drugs, alcohol, and cigarette smoking. Seriously? You donât think teens are doing these things, either?Â
While I write fiction, I do live in reality. And the reality of it is, teenagers do have sex. They drink. They experiment with drugs. They smoke. They make bad choices. Theyâre also smarter than most give them credit for.
2 Comments
Speaking of Touch, where’s our fourth book? It’s past mid to late 2016…. Just saying….
Hi Brandy! Sorry I’m just seeing this. For some reason the site started moderating comments.
As for the Denazen series, unfortunately since I’m not self published, there’s a lot about releases that I don’t have any control over. As soon as I have news though, I’ll be sure to shout it from the rooftops đ